QUESTION: We went to dinner last night in one of the nicest restaurants in town. I noticed that some people were dressed in outfits that seemed less than appropriate for fine dining. Some ladies wore “short shorts” accented by extremely tight-fitting tops. Other diners proudly displayed their tattoos. I also observed that age didn’t matter as people in various age groups wore inappropriate attire. Should restaurants advertise a dress code?

CALLIE’S ANSWER: There are restaurants that do require a dress code. Most dress codes are listed on their websites and are enforced upon arrival. Hopefully it was a great meal and you enjoyed getting dressed up.

LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: Just last month, NBC’s “The Today Show” featured very thoughtful column by “Mister Manners” Thomas P. Farley about this, noting that restaurant dress codes were coming back slowly — with “more of a whisper than a shout.” As one California restaurant owner put it, they are “very flexible” about how guests interpret their required “casual elegance” dress code because it’s more about diners making the effort than it is following rules.

And maybe that’s what restaurants can hope for right now as they balance a desire to be welcoming to everyone (and attract business) and their desire to set an elegant, upscale dining feel — encouraging guests to make an effort. Even though society has gotten more casual all around, it’s fun to get dressed up in your best to go out on the town; doing so also shows respect for all the work the chef, the servers, the hosts and the owners have put in to making your dining experience enjoyable.

All you can do personally, however, is dress in YOUR best for fancier restaurants and not let others’ choice of clothing ruin your experience. The staff can set requirements for a dress code, too. Letting go of some of the more strict rules for restaurant dining has led to people feeling more included in the whole experience, but I do like the idea of some guidance encouraging the effort coming from some of the nicer restaurants you mentioned.

HELEN’S ANSWER: If you are going out to a dinner at a restaurant, you are appearing in public. That used to mean that you put on your nicer outfit, just in case you ran into your boss, your co-workers, your boyfriend, or your favorite relative. Some restaurants do have dress codes (mostly no shoes, no shirt, no service).

There are still many people who realize the value of appearance and choose to follow dress codes. It could be as simple as putting on a clean blouse or shirt and slacks or pants or a jacket. In more formal restaurants, a coat and tie are appropriate. Hopefully, people get back to the basics of dressing better and realize that short shorts do not look good on everyone.

GUEST’S ANSWER: Christina Nihira, community volunteer: Formal clothing has been suffering a slow decline in our society. Just a few decades ago, workers donned suits with ties or dresses/skirts with high heels. Next came business-casual which made khakis and polos the standard “uniform” which extended beyond office confines. Then COVID forced most people to stay home. Athletic wear, shorts, yoga and sweat pants became the new normal.

The trend is that people no longer require separate work and weekend wear. Fashion is all about informal, and comfort. People wear jeans to funerals and weddings. Hats aren’t removed indoors. It’s unfortunate that the shift has become so casual.

In a perfect world, it would be nice to return to a time when apparel was a little more dressy and respectful to the occasion. Posting a dress code is a smart idea in addition to communicating the venue’s expectations. However, the problem becomes who will “enforce” it. It places the host/hostess and servers in an awkward position. Besides, management has to consider whether it’s worth the risk of potentially offending or losing a customer. It’s a tricky balance.

Luckily, like most things in life, fashion changes as quickly as the seasons. And you never know if a fashion revolution is around the corner and swings back to a more traditional style.

Since 2009, Callie, Lillie-Beth and Helen have written this generational etiquette column. They also include guest responses from a wide range of ages each week. So many years later, Callie is 20-plus; Lillie-Beth is 40-plus and Helen is 60-plus. To ask an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net.